Dreams do come true

Sometimes. Everybody knows that. Dreams can tell our future, mostly it interprets the way we feel, It all grinds down to emotions. Sometimes when you dream about bad and traumatic situations doesn't mean it'll happen in real life. Coming from a family who believes in superstitions It's not bad to believe in some of these and do what you can to counter it. But often times I don't believe in it, because the more you believe in it the more it will come true. You just give more power to make it come true. It sounds scary, doesn't it?

I do believe in some dreams, and I do take it seriously. One time when I was still young my mom dreamed about a turtle lying on it's back and my mom prayed so hard because she knew someone was going to die in our family, a few days later we found out my grandfather was so sick my mom took off a few days to the province. Later on, he passed away. I dreamed that my teeth fell out one by one but nobody really died, I guess it was just telling me about my fears in life. My parents owned a dream dictionary back then and every time we had a dream we would look for what it means. I still do today, I look it up online and there are hundreds of meanings out there. It doesn't hurt to believe but sometimes you just have to have faith in the Lord.

love being a mom!

I just adore being a mom, I am pretty sure every one of you feels the same way I do :). Especially when Nathan started school, just seeing the improvements he had with everything was absolutely priceless. I try to document everything as much as I can, coz I didn't had much when I was in school back in the days, only pictures - that's it. Visit my Flickr for I am always there uploading some pictures and will soon be uploading some videos, too. If you want to be my Flickr buddy, just add me up, I'll do the same. :)



A few days ago Nate's school had a fun run at their school field, so while waiting the teacher kindly asked me to volunteer to pull out the finished homeworks and put in the homeworks that are going home that day. I absolutely loved it! being in their class volunteering for a few hours really makes a difference. I can tell the teacher appreciated the little volunteer work we gave. The other mom, who was also a filipina, was there. we were the only moms in our son's class to volunteer (how sad). I distributed their notebooks and folders plus goodie bags, I love how they call me "Nathan's mom" since they hesitate to call me mrs. Cruz hehee. :) anyhoo, the fun run was great the kids ran how may lapses, impressive. me and the other mom just went on one lapse... too tired, so out of shape hehee..

I didn't mean to be nosy with the other kid's communication notebooks and homework folders but It's very sad to learn that a lot of these children's parents don't really participate well in their child's education. A lot of kids don't do their homeworks or their communication notebooks which parents needs to read aren't signed plenty of times... I feel bad for the kids. I informed my husband about this one day while we were driving home and he smiled at me, he told me that eventhough we're both busy working parents we still strive hard for our son to learn good and participate as much as we can in their education. That is indeed one of the factors to have a successful child in school. I am so proud of our son, eventhough at some times he can be a pain in a butt but he shows us that he can do good eventhough he didn't go to preschool. We proved some people wrong about our son not going to preschool, well guess what? He's not behind at all and the teacher kept telling us that inspite of his playful behavior he's doing some great progress! that's music to our ears. and we get to see the evidence binder every quarter along with his report card. :) I love how the teacher also tells us that Nate has great handwriting except for the a's and o's and d's he starts writing from the bottom, a small concern that needs work.



I hope he continues on doing good in school, I'm not expecting much from him but hope he'll be like his cousins who are straight A students. :)

bye, mommy

My mom left last Sept. 3rd along with my brother's girlfriend, they went to San Diego and probably go to my aunt's place in Washington, after that they'll continue their trip to the Philippines. oh, I so miss her already. I just wished she didn't go... I'm still hoping she would stay... so yeah, I'm glad that Nate is finally in school, he got approved for A+ after school care, thank God. right timing, just as mom made the decision to go back home to the PI. We all cried that night before their departure, said our final goodbyes and hugs, sorrys and whatnots... hope she'll come back though. but I know she will.

thank you, God

We went to Waikiki on the 26th, walked around and took pictures. As we were walking on our way to the Fort De russy parking lot, this person appeared in the middle of nowhere, he was Jamaican, I think, dark skinned, tall person with dreadlocks. he was wearing a decent shirt and shorts with no slippers on. He was walking quietly his face down. I was looking down while walking because Nathan was in a stroller, I was scared, you never know! then as soon as he passed by me he stopped by the bushes and plucked something... a yellow hibiscus flower! and quickly gave it to my mom, mommy said thank you but instead of replying 'you're welcome' he only responded with a soft 'mahalo' (mahalo means thank you in Hawaiian), then off he went. so weird! after that, we all looked at each other and Rachel suddenly said 'he must be and angel!' the flower was yellow and big, its petals were widespread. so pretty! we noticed on our way to the parking lot that most of the hibiscus flowers were already closed since it was night time already. My mom informed Rachel the day before we went to Waikiki that she was hoping that Gully would appear in her dreams carrying a flower to know that he's happy. so weird but true! It was a special night for us. When I saw my watch, guess what time it was? 9:30 pm.

Hello, friends! how are you all doing? for us here, we are doing fine so far. It's been a tough time ever since my brother passed away. but we are trying our best to recover, with God's guidance I know we will overcome these trials being sent our way. My brother's girlfriend Rachel arrived here in Hawaii around Aug. 15th, As soon as we fetched her at the airport that's when we got a call from my mom that Gully is about to be transferred to St. Francis Hospice down by Ewa beach, everything was right timing. Gully was still ok, he still got to sing, chat on the phone, talk story with us but all of a sudden that Saturday the 16th, he started to feel weak and started to talk about things that you know a person would when he is coming close to his end of days. It freaks us out every time he talks about himself leaving us. His request was to be cremated and wanted us to throw his ashes to the sea, which we didn't like, later he told us that we can do whatever we want then as long as he is not to be put in a coffin.

I went home around 6:00 pm that Sunday, the 17th of Aug. He was asking in a weak voice what he would wear on his funeral. I went home and looked through his clothes, no white long sleeve button down shirt so I rushed to buy one for him, I was speeding to the freeway and somehow I wanted to go back to the Hospice, so after preparing for my brother's funeral clothes, hubby ironed it himself since he wasn't satisfied the way I ironed it. to think I wasn't planning to go back since he was still doing good. my mom called me one more time and I told her I was on my way. boy, as soon as I got there his eyes went wide eyed and I knew for sure he waited for me one last time before he left his body. Gully's body was completely numbed already. Rachel told Gully that once he sees angels he should raise his hands, and We saw him did it! he raised both hands and said 'PRAISE THE LORD!'.

That night, Gully's friend who was a pastor stayed there until Gully's last breath, along with his wife and a friend, a missionary from Indonesia. Me and Rachel held his hands until he stopped breathing. Soothing heavenly music was being played in the back, that really broke my heart to pieces because I know any minute he will be gone forever. we kissed and hugged him like there was no tomorrow . little by little his body went cold. we kept on listening if his heart wasn't beating any longer. my mom kept on breathing hard and praying that Gully would soon leave so his suffering would stop already. She couldn't barely see my brother's condition, it was so hard for her. the time was 9:30 pm, A sunday. His favorite day since he loved going to church so much.

He was cremated Aug. 21, 2008. we held a little service for about 30 minutes just the 6 of us. As soon as we walked in the Chapel anticipating what he would look like, there he laid on gurney with lots of blankets and a green quilt over him, he looked so peaceful, like he was only sleeping. We sang and listened to a few bible verses. We couldn't believe he's now gone. for good. the next few days We toured Rachel to the places Where Gully visited here in Hawaii. At home, whatever Gully did that's the way Rachel did. my mom found comfort in her since she was the closest person Gully had in his heart so mom felt that. We donated almost all his stuff to the Cerebral palsy foundation. I am pretty sure Gully would understand that. If we had the space permanently we wouldn't give anything away in a heartbeat. I kept most of my brother's stuff for safekeeping and at the same time will serve as his memories to me.

I am currently planning on his memorial page, Rachel is willing to help me out with it, too. She leaves the Island on Sept. 3rd, along with my mom going to San Diego then to the Philippines. As hard as it feels for us her leaving us, too I just hope we'll all be alright. I don't want her to go far away from me. but since she can't stand being here all alone, I even offered to help her find work so she can be busy. but I couldn't convince her. even spending a few months, maybe a month or two so we can save money for her trip back home. We're in a financial crisis right now since we paid a lot for my brother's funeral. I love my brother and I didn't really care if we did spend a lot since she has no work and Gully didn't had any work either, it was all up to us. I just hope she appreciated everything we did for her. In spite of Gully being gone, she should realize I am still here. We love her. but then We'll just be praying to the Lord to guide her whatever decisions she make.

Thank you so much for all the greetings you guys gave. Most of you saw his pictures there, I didn't share it here anymore since most of his pictures are uploaded on my friendster account. again, thank you. May God bless you all for the kindness you guys have given to me.

wedding nightmare

My father-in-law forwarded an email from a family friend who just got married around May 10 in Subic. a hoax or not, be warned that we must be careful always whenever we book at hotels, we must make sure to read reviews and ratings for the best service we can get. I have never seen this hotel before, but I knew it was still under construction when I was still there years ago. It's a pretty nice hotel based from pictures of friends who went there for vacations. but this email really bothered me... I'm not discouraging you to stay at this Hotel but just be extra careful, it can also happen at any HOTEL out there, shame on the security staff they had for it weren't for their carelessness this would've had happened. how sad it is for these newlyweds...

read the article HERE
Subic is a great place, I actually grew up there so I am still inviting everybody to visit Olongapo City, Subic bay (my hometown). My dad who was a retired Navy always took us to inside base where we visit ships and carriers and meet family friends who were still in the Navy. I miss that place though... wish I can go back. I'll continue blogging on memory lane maybe later... so stay tuned! me and mom are gonna drive around town using THE BUS.